On June 3, we celebrated National Cancer Survivors Day and I joined the 28 million cancer survivors around the world to celebrate another birthday. As I've said before, I feel like I'm still here for a reason. It is evident each and every day that there are people that I can help, both physically through Pilates as well as mentally through sharing the lessons that I learned on my journey to overcome incurable cancer.
As I embark on my new journey to share my story, I'm excited to be launching my memoir "I am Living to Tell" this month with the desire to reach more people who may find my story comforting, inspiring and empowering.
As part of this journey, I was asked to write a synopsis of my book. Here it is:
Four years ago, I was diagnosed with a rare form of incurable non-Hodgkin's lymphoma as well as leukemia. Two years ago, my doctors told me that they could not find any trace of cancer in my body. The cancer I had is considered "indolent" which means that it is sleeping and could awaken at any time. So while I cannot say that I healed myself of cancer, I can say that I was given my life back in May of 2009, and "I am Living to Tell" is the story of my journey of healing.
When I was diagnosed with the cancer, I was petrified. I sought not two but three separate opinions. I also found out early on that the only chemo available to me was the most potent of all chemo's but that it could only lessen the spread of the disease. I was faced with the law of diminishing returns. I could only do the chemo a couple of times before it would be rendered ineffective.
I had a choice. I could either poison my body or find other ways to heal. My husband, who had just lost him mother to brain and lung cancer, wanted me to do the chemo. My mother, a world-renowned expert on stress wanted me to seek a help at the top cancer hospital in the country, Dana Farber, in Boston. She also urged me to get acupuncture and Reiki. I thought she was nuts at first, but I learned quickly the wisdom of her advice.
While the war raged between my husband and mother over where and what kind of treatment options I should take, I had to make up my mind. Something told me to go with my mother, to seek the third opinion at Dana Farber. I traveled to Boston, my husband protesting all the way, and there it was confirmed that I indeed had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and leukemia, but instead of recommending chemo, my good doctor, Dr. Fisher, said that I had three months of "watchful waiting." That began my journey into alternative healing.
Over the course of the next two years, I embarked on a healing journey that incorporated the powerful combination of mind-body-spirit. I learned how to rid the cancer that was in my mind and spirit. I practiced as many forms of visualization and positive-intention exercises as I could. I sought out acupuncture and learned about Chinese herbs. They were the god-awfullest things I have ever smelled, and what they produced in my body was noisome to the extreme. But I stuck with them because I knew that they would do something important. I added into all of that some incredibly powerful work with a woman, Alice who helped me confront and deal with the anger and sadness of my childhood. With her help, I was able to forgive my ex-husband, my grandmother, and most importantly my own mother. Before cancer, Mom and I barely had talked for three years. As soon as I called her and told her the news about the cancer, she became, next to my husband, my staunchest advocate and biggest cheerleader.
The chapters are arranged in the chronological story of how I beat back the cancer. But added to that are the "eight little lessons of hope and healing," that I learned along the way. These lessons begin the chapter and I use them as a guide more so than an integrated aspect of each chapter. Each lesson begins the chapter and there is a short blurb of explanation of each. I let the chapter proper explain what that lesson means.
At the end of chapter 7, I write: "I want to make something very clear—I firmly believe you can't just cut the cancer out of you, do some chemo or radiation, and think you're done. You have the cut the cancer out of your mind. You have to live, eat, and breath positive intention. You have to find a way to forgive so that the healing can begin. You need to search every day to find serenity. And you need to make sure that you are throwing every healing modality, Western, Eastern, and otherwise, that you can, at that disease in your body."
I want readers to be able to find the power in themselves to heal themselves of whatever mental, physical, or spiritual malaise or disease they are dealing with. We have an incredible power within ourselves to make anything happen that we want to happen. I wanted to live and I found a way to do that. I want others to find that core of strength within themselves so that they, too, can will themselves to live a full life of blessings and happiness.